Claim your right to grieve
Not only is it important to grieve, it is necessary to experience the pain of the suicide loss in order to gain relief. Remember the grief process takes a long time and may never be fully resolved.
Grief is emotional. It is a natural response to a traumatic loss. Make time to grieve. Let people you trust know when you need support. Teach others how they can be helpful. Most people will not automatically know what you need. Talk to others who have experienced a loss by suicide.
Doing something active rather than just thinking to resolve emotions is healthy. Examples include, journaling, writing letters, walking and exercising.
It is important for relatives, friends and the larger community to support people throughout the grief process. The following are some suggestions on how to assist survivors directly.
Respect the timing and pacing of an individual’s grief process. It is a difficult journey. Encourage them to make choices that are right for them.
Offer compassionate listening, understanding and patience. Offer to do some specific tasks or chores.
Reassure survivors what they are feeling is normal.
Find out what supports are available in the community regarding a suicide loss.
Contact the bereaved person on a regular basis.
Research the impact of suicide loss. This will help you provide support to survivors in healthy ways.
Be courageous – approach those that have lost a loved one by suicide. Let them know you heard. Ask them how they really are. This is important even if it has been some time since the actual death.
School Memorials After Suicide: Helpful or Harmful? (p. 1) http://www.suicideinfo.ca/csp/assets/alert54.pdf
After a Suicide: Recommendations for Religious Services and Other Public Memorial Observances. (p. 10) http://www.sprc.org/sites/default/files/migrate/library/AfteraSuicideToolkitforSchools.pdf
School Memorials: Should We? How Should We? (a general look at memorials)http://www.tlcinst.org/memorials.html
Recommendations for a Community Plan/Prevention of Suicide Clusters: CDC (p. 8)https://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00001755.htm
Suicide Contagion and the Reporting of Suicide: Recommendations from a National Workshop (p. 5)http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/preview/mmwrhtml/00031539.htm
Programs for the Prevention of Suicide Among Adolescents and Young Adults
Suicide Contagion and the Reporting of Suicide: Recommendations from a National Workshop (p. 18) http://www.cdc.gov/mmwr/PDF/rr/rr4306.pdf
For more information on suicide, surviving suicide loss and suicide survivor support groups we would encourage you to click on the province links for groups in your area and any of the other following websites:
Committed to providing survivors with information and empowering them to become involved in prevention.
Reference – Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention http://suicideprevention.ca